Vonnegut Does LED Lighting

We couldn’t resist playing with AI, and got an artificial Kurt Vonnegut to expound on the virtues of upgrading your lighting to LED. We think it’s pretty great, dare we say - enlightened prose….

LED Lighting Upgrades: So It Goes

Hi ho, folks. Anyone who's worked in an old factory or dilapidated warehouse knows the score when it comes to lighting - it sucks. I'm talking about those burned-out vintage lamps straight out of a Hieronymus Bosch painting, casting more shadows than illumination. Those mercurial high-intensity dishcarge lights that buzz and flicker like they're possessed by trickster spirits.

Yeah, those glorified eavestrough lights have had a long run. But the cosmic forces of progeess and government regulations are finally signaling their demise. In this quintessentially human Era of LED, the old-fashioned, energy-glutton lamps favored by the Mutt and Jeff plant managers of yesteryear just aren't going to cut the mustard any longer.

I'm talking about California's Assembly Bill 2208, coming down the pike in 2025. This little slice of democracy decrees that industrial buildings over 50,000 square feet need to shape up and make the switch to modern LED lighting and all its untold wonders. Out with the sucky old lamps and in with light-emitting diodes - tiny marvels that last practically forever on a thimble of electricity.

Now, your classic Luddite grump is gonna grouse about upfront costs and general muscular unhappiness with new-fangled change. But deep down, even they know making the jump to LED puts real greenbacks back in their pockets in the long run through energy savings and avoiding re-lamping costs. Not to mention the productivity boosts when your people can actually see what they're doing instead of squinting in gloomy half-light like mole people.

Sure, it's an investment. The cheap skates might balk at first. But any plant super worth their salt knows you gotta spend money to make money in this world. For the cost of the LED upgrade, you'll be raking in rebates, incentives and yuuuge energy savings before you can say "kilolumen per what now?"

At the end of the day, the harsh reality is those crappy old lights are going the way of the dodo within a few years - kaput, finito, so it goes. Facility managers can get ahead of the curve and reap the rewards of LED now. Or they can stubbornly cling to the legacy lighting purr of electromagnetic radiation and flaming tungsten filaments until the utility fines start racking up.

Me? I'm staking out the LED side of the fence. Those little solid-state rascals are the way of the future - assuming we crazy humans don't blow our last few years on Terra by playing with nuclear fireballs we can't control. And that's about as cheery a note as I can end on before my signature fatalistic ennui kicks in. So why don't you go upgrade those lights already? We'll all be in the ground soon enough.